Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s missing from this paragraph? Here’s what: it completely ignores the fact that girls are being told that they are “bossy” in situations when they are actually fulfilling a leadership role and/or exercising legitimate power to speak their minds. Why would someone choose to use a “useful descriptive word” so inappropriately? Clearly, it’s to keep girls in their place. It’s called “gaslighting” and it’s not a new concept. Convincing a girl that she is being too “aggressive” or “pushy” when she is not is an extremely powerful manipulation technique. Gaslighting is meant to make a person question their “memory, perception, or sanity” and in the case of “bossy”, this gaslighting is specifically meant to make a girl question her legitimacy as an opinion-holder and leader. Adding a “-y” to the end to “boss” trivializes the word, so a “boss-y” person is a person with no legitimate power. Now, let’s stop for a minute and think about what we would call a girl who is exercising illegitimate power over other children in inappropriate ways. Do we have a word for that? Yes, we do: bullying. If so-called “bossy” girls are not bullying, then what is the problem here? It’s actually pretty serious: they are disrupting the social order.



The word “bossy” derives much of its power from another highly-destructive, gendered word: “nice.” The two of those words together set up a framework with significant power to keep girls “in their place.” By definition, a “bossy” girl is not a “nice” girl. A “nice” girl is generally considered to be pleasant, agreeable, and cooperative. She waits for permission and does not make waves by assuming power or challenging others’ assumptions or ideas. Where is the space between “bossy” and “nice”? It’s like the virgin/whore dichotomy. Unless we want to stay stuck in this no-win space, we have to step outside of the “bossy” v. “nice” frame and choose new words that do not reinforce old patriarchal ideas. If we set ourselves up to discuss the word “bossy”, then that’s what we’ll discuss. Yes, the Ban Bossy campaign has gotten people thinking about the word in a new way, and that’s amazing. But instead of taking away the word’s power, this campaign is inadvertently shoring it up.

How the “Ban Bossy” Conversation is Getting Derailed | Feminist Messaging Project (via becauseiamawoman)

(via note-a-bear)

It turns out that if you ask the right questions in just the right way, some men will actually tell you that they're rapists. They'll just…admit it. The key is, don't use the word rape. Just ask them what they've done. Researchers asked 1,882 men: and: 120 answered yes. (That's rape.) 1,882 men… 120 rapists. They admitted to a total of 483 rapes and attempted rapes. 483! Whoa.

superwholockianlady:

porcupine-girl:

maymay:

“Repeat Rape: How do they get away with it?”, Part 1 of 2. (link to Part 2)

Sources:

  1. College Men: Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists,Lisak and Miller, 2002 [PDF, 12 pages]
  2. Navy Men: Lisak and Miller’s results were essentially duplicated in an even larger study (2,925 men): Reports of Rape Reperpetration by Newly Enlisted Male Navy Personnel, McWhorter, 2009 [PDF, 16 pages]

By dark-side-of-the-room, who writes:

These infogifs are provided RIGHTS-FREE for noncommercial purposes. Repost them anywhere. In fact, repost them EVERYWHERE. No need to credit. Link to the L&M study if possible.

Knowledge is a seed; sow it.

Reblogging because I mentioned this study in a post the other day and someone reblogged & replied insinuating that I’d made it up, but I didn’t have the citation on hand right then. As I said then: rape culture is what teaches rapists that they aren’t rapists.

^ bolded for emphasis

(via faypunk)

keep-calm-stay-healthy:

size10plz:

optimuspham:

i hope that someone, somewhere, sees this and is actually affected by it enough to make a change. this is terrible.

Unacceptable.

If you are or someone you know is in a situation where there is physical or emotional abuse here is a list of numbers and directories so you can get some help/advice for the situation. In an emergency call 911 or your country’s emergency service number if you need immediate assistance or have already been hurt.

In the US: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224

Canada: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010

UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247

Australia: Call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732. The website also allows you to chat with a qualified and experienced counsellor

New Zealand: Women’s Refuge - 0800733843

Are You Ok - 0800 456 450 (the website is full of information and support services contacts for families experiencing violence).

Worldwide: Visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global lists of helplines, shelters, and crisis centres.

reblogging again for numbers 

(via juliagazdag)

About creepy guys

realsocialskills:

A lot of men (and probably other genders, but mostly men) like to creepily hit on people (usually women) in contexts in which it’s not ok to hit on people. (Eg: on the subway). 

Girls start experiencing this before they’re considered old enough for sex ed.

Creepy men regularly do this in a way that’s slightly deniable.

Like sitting way too close. Or asking an almost innocuous thing. And it feels really horrible to be on the receiving end, but it can be hard to put your finger on why. And if you object, the man who started it will try as hard as he can to say you’re being unreasonable. Often, bystanders or people you tell afterwards will empathically agree and tell you he was just being friendly and that didn’t have to be rude.

This is not your fault. It’s not your fault that creepy guys are awful to you, and it’s not your fault that people punish you for refusing to cooperate with their creepy actions.

There is usually no polite way to object. Because they manipulate the rules of politeness so that you have to be rude to say no.

It’s ok to be rude in that situation.

Being in that situation doesn’t mean you’re a rude inconsiderate person. It means you’re asserting an important boundary in the only available way.

Most of these guys know exactly what they are doing. It’s not innocent awkwardness. It’s a different thing. It’s doing something they know they can probably get away with denying that they’ve done.

(People do sometimes do this kind of thing by mistake, too. But it’s not ok then either. And most people who do this, know damn well what they’re doing.)

revolutionary-afrolatino:

queennubian:

gimptips:

jebbcole53:

Trying to get this on as many social media platforms as possible.
A Fight to Survive TBI: The Story of David On the Road to Recover from Traumatic Brain Injury.
August 24, 2012 drastically changed my life. What happened that evening has left David in a vegetative coma and I am desperate to save my son’s life and future. David was pistol whipped, had his jaw broken and then his unconscious body was robbed. Though David regained consciousness, he was incoherent and rushed by ambulance to UMDNJ trauma center in Newark, New Jersey. It was there that he underwent emergency craniotomy surgery to alleviate the pressure from his swelling brain.
He is currently living in a sub-acute unit at a nursing home being fed via a gastric feeding tube. He is no longer entitled to physical therapy because he has shown no signs of progress. This means each day he lies in bed approximately 19 hours and sit in a wheelchair for 5 hours with no physical stimulation aside from being dressed and his diaper changed.
The importance behind physical therapy is that it will help him maintain his muscles and joints; to achieve his goal to attain flexibility, balance and coordination free from pain or suffering, so that he may lead a normal life again; performing all of his daily activities with minimal or no difficulty and without dependency. It can even help with his cardiopulmonary and neurological functions.
With prolonged treatment, it is possible for him to regain a large share, if not all of his mobility and it will improve his overall fitness and health.
David’s survival depends on continued physical and mental stimulation therapies which most insurances are not willing to fund long term. The lack of such treatment poses a direct threat to David’s ability to return to a life that extend beyond sitting in front of a television for hours on end in a nursing home. He deserves better.
His recovery is destined to be a long and arduous one, with no guarantees. But in order for him to have that chance, he needs, aside from a miracle, funds for aggressive physical therapy, a private neurologist and a specially designed vehicle for myself to accommodate his wheel chair.
Please join my family in our fight to get David the medical and physical treatment he needs. The amount we are now trying to raise is just the beginning for David and we could use your support. Thank you!
Please reblog, donate, and pray for David #teamwu

http://www.gofundme.com/davidsfightforlife

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

help a brother out

revolutionary-afrolatino:

queennubian:

gimptips:

jebbcole53:

Trying to get this on as many social media platforms as possible.

A Fight to Survive TBI: The Story of David On the Road to Recover from Traumatic Brain Injury.

August 24, 2012 drastically changed my life. What happened that evening has left David in a vegetative coma and I am desperate to save my son’s life and future. David was pistol whipped, had his jaw broken and then his unconscious body was robbed. Though David regained consciousness, he was incoherent and rushed by ambulance to UMDNJ trauma center in Newark, New Jersey. It was there that he underwent emergency craniotomy surgery to alleviate the pressure from his swelling brain.

He is currently living in a sub-acute unit at a nursing home being fed via a gastric feeding tube. He is no longer entitled to physical therapy because he has shown no signs of progress. This means each day he lies in bed approximately 19 hours and sit in a wheelchair for 5 hours with no physical stimulation aside from being dressed and his diaper changed.

The importance behind physical therapy is that it will help him maintain his muscles and joints; to achieve his goal to attain flexibility, balance and coordination free from pain or suffering, so that he may lead a normal life again; performing all of his daily activities with minimal or no difficulty and without dependency. It can even help with his cardiopulmonary and neurological functions.

With prolonged treatment, it is possible for him to regain a large share, if not all of his mobility and it will improve his overall fitness and health.

David’s survival depends on continued physical and mental stimulation therapies which most insurances are not willing to fund long term. The lack of such treatment poses a direct threat to David’s ability to return to a life that extend beyond sitting in front of a television for hours on end in a nursing home. He deserves better.

His recovery is destined to be a long and arduous one, with no guarantees. But in order for him to have that chance, he needs, aside from a miracle, funds for aggressive physical therapy, a private neurologist and a specially designed vehicle for myself to accommodate his wheel chair.

Please join my family in our fight to get David the medical and physical treatment he needs. The amount we are now trying to raise is just the beginning for David and we could use your support. Thank you!

Please reblog, donate, and pray for David #teamwu

http://www.gofundme.com/davidsfightforlife

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

help a brother out

(via mayasownmenagerie)

¿Feliz Día?

elpasadoes:

Hoy es un día para recordar. Es estúpido festejar y felicitar cuando vivimos en una sociedad machista y desigual donde hay mujeres muriendo por abortos clandestinos, siendo violadas y oprimidas en todo sentido, desde el trabajo, el hogar, la historia y la cultura misma. “Regalemos flores y chocolates”, o por que no mejor dejar gritarles cosas en la calle cual perro en celo, o chiflarles, o dejar de decir “puta” a la mujer que usa la ropa que quiere o tiene sexo con quien quiere, o sacar de tu pequeña cabeza alienada que es el “sexo débil” que debe ser respetado y protegido, y esto en un concepto erróneo porque habla de algo inferior al hombre. Y es justamente esa la mentalidad que la sociedad te inculca, que hasta cambia un día en el que se conmemora una tragedia por algo que hay que festejar y sonreír, y así ocultar y olvidar todo lo que fue eso realmente y toda la mierda que oprime al género femenino, no para recordar hoy sino todos los días hasta que arda de las base misma este sistema opresor, ya que todo es culpa de él.

andreasanterini:

Daphne Groeneveld and Lindsey Wixson in “Scene on the Street” / Photographed by Alasdair McLellan / Styled by Edward Enninful, for W Magazine August 2011

andreasanterini:

Daphne Groeneveld and Lindsey Wixson in “Scene on the Street” / Photographed by Alasdair McLellan / Styled by Edward Enninful, for W Magazine August 2011

magnoliaqueen123:

eatsleepdraw:

Puff by Samantha Wynell-Mayow

I’ve been away from Tumblr for the last few weeks and just logged in to find a lovely surprise. It’s definitely overwhelming because when I draw, I draw for myself and the idea that others like and enjoy my works still blows my mind, to this day, eventhough I don’t seem to show it, I am definitely grateful to every single one of you who reblogged and liked this picture. Seriously, thank you!
I know I’ve been quiet on here but now that the Christmas holidays are here, work is starting to wind down and I’ll have a bit more time to draw some personal stuff which I’ve been looking forward to do because I have some ideas that I’ve been wanting to draw for ages now and some news to announce, soon.
Till then, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

magnoliaqueen123:

eatsleepdraw:

Puff by Samantha Wynell-Mayow

I’ve been away from Tumblr for the last few weeks and just logged in to find a lovely surprise. It’s definitely overwhelming because when I draw, I draw for myself and the idea that others like and enjoy my works still blows my mind, to this day, eventhough I don’t seem to show it, I am definitely grateful to every single one of you who reblogged and liked this picture. Seriously, thank you!

I know I’ve been quiet on here but now that the Christmas holidays are here, work is starting to wind down and I’ll have a bit more time to draw some personal stuff which I’ve been looking forward to do because I have some ideas that I’ve been wanting to draw for ages now and some news to announce, soon.

Till then, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

andreasanterini:

Daphne Groeneveld and Lindsey Wixson in “Scene on the Street” / Photographed by Alasdair McLellan / Styled by Edward Enninful, for W Magazine August 2011

andreasanterini:

Daphne Groeneveld and Lindsey Wixson in “Scene on the Street” / Photographed by Alasdair McLellan / Styled by Edward Enninful, for W Magazine August 2011